Lets talk sex: The science of your brain on dirty talk

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If you invite him in explicitly, he may see that what happened was a blip, something you can both get over with minimal effort. My interpretation of this experience is that you were both playing around and he went a little too far. It’s completely human to misjudge, and it’s completely human to react to that error.

Still feeling unsure about talking dirty during sex? Here are 9 tips to get started

There are plenty of lists online there with sexy phrases you can use during sex to up the dirty talk. If you’re the one who feels awkward or cringes at the idea of talking dirty yourself, but you find it hot when others do it, know that learning some tips for exactly how to talk dirty can help. “That discomfort may just be a reflection of the fact that you lack experience saying things aloud, without a filter, or intentionally to titillate a partner,” says LGBTQ+ expert and counselor Kryss Shane, LMSW. Dirty talk phrases can also help you bring your fantasies to life and invite your partner into them. “Sharing our desires can help strengthen intimate bonds and trust,” says Nugent.

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Most of our communication doesn’t work via the words you use – body language, the tone of your voice, and facial expressions are way more important. “Little signals or texts or messages can help ensure that by the time you’re getting physical with someone, the dirty talk will just feel like a natural progression,” says Eros. The Best Women’s Erotica of the Year volumes, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, are a great place to start. You might also try listening with your partner to the storytelling erotica app Dipsea or any number of other audio erotica apps.

• Tease your boo with naughty thoughts and even discuss playful punishments.
• “It feels so good when you X my Y,” is easy, dirty, and hot.
• While talking about what you want to do, what you plan on doing, or how you’re feeling in the moment, you and your partner can get a better sense of where the boundaries are and make sure you’re on the same page.
• We have tips and tricks for turning your partner on without saying the wrong thing.
• It just doesn’t have the same effect—and that’s because hearing certain words or phrases can be a major turn-on.

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I have felt this way hooking up in the past, which makes some sense because being alone with a stranger is probably inherently awkward, but even with my spouse, whom I love deeply, I can’t seem to feel relaxed. I have no trauma that might be the root of this feeling, and I am generally very comfortable with my spouse. After sex, I just want some space and air, which doesn’t seem like it should be too much to ask, but if I try to extricate myself, my spouse gets upset. I have tried explaining that I need some peace and space in the very same way that they need snuggling and the like, to wind down and recenter myself, but I never seem to get through. I sort of fancy Mark Knopfler’s voice, so some Dire Straits songs, like “Fade to Black,” are great. I think having music in the background eases my anxiety.

Set aside a full 20 minutes of just talking dirty to each other before you even remove your clothes and touch each other. Fortunately, your lover is clearly turned on by your genuine expression of pleasure rather than something forced or faked. And he may even enjoy the fact that you are verbally a little shy.

All you need is a little confidence, a willing partner (or two!), and this dirty talk guide. Personalize these phrases to fit your relationship, and match the language you and your partner already use. Remember, one couple’s vanilla is another couple’s kink. Whether you’re having phone sex for the first time or you’re in a long-distance relationship, here are some dirty things to say when you’re virtually connecting with someone. Pair with a long-distance sex toy to really up the ante (might we suggest the We-Vibe Sync?). That’s why I’m going to [insert sexual activity] when you get home.

Secondly, dirty talking with your partner is incredibly hot and arousing to your man if you do it the right way. As you can probably guess this makes it great to use if you want to make sex hotter and more enjoyable than usual. While it might seem like something straight out of erotic literature or a steamy movie scene, it’s useful for elevating communication in the bedroom. The comfort you feel in your relationship has everything to do with what you’re willing to try sexually.

Quite often, epic sex, while being consensual and mutually loving, isn’t necessarily always politically correct, or polite. Just like how most women want to feel their man confidently lead, ravish, and direct during sex, most men also want to feel a certain energy from you. I don’t mean playing the Dominant polarity (unless that’s what the two of you are into). It’s more about speaking confidently without hesitance or shame. I’m about to break down the deeper mechanics of what turns him on, and give you some examples of it in action, so you can start pressing his buttons, and even improvise your own saucy lines on the spot.

Maybe they describe each act this third person is going to do to you, and how hot it will be to watch. Once you’re fully feeling it, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what you want. Take control by giving them instructions on exactly what feels good for you. “Dirty talk doesn’t have to be raunchy, but it can if you want it to be!